Sista..... Stand Up!

The weekend with Miranda and her boys was great but my favourite time was when we all had breakfast in bed on my birthday and watched the Wizard of Oz. I have always loved the Wizard of Oz and was given the special edition DVD as a birthday pressy!!! Thanks you Sal and Drew! Xxx Last Monday I had taken the day off work to hunt for my wedding shoes… After going to Harvey Nicks, Harrods, Liberty, Oxford Street, Top Shop, Kings Road and even Christian Louboutin my idol, I still had no inspiration or wedding shoes… I thought it would be a lot more painful as I was expecting to she hundreds of pairs that I would be in pain over the price but there was nothing… I then found an article amongst all my shoe research I had brought with me into town that talked about a pair of Italian designers called Anello & Davide… OH MY GOD… it was the shoe designers who made Dorothy's shoes…. YES, the famous, glorious, red sparkling beauties that I hyperventilate too every time she twists her feet and shouts 'theirs no place like home!' I go to the shop in Chelsea but its closed down…. I call the number on the window which gives me a second number…. The second number asks me to leave a message but I don't want to leave a message I want to speak to Dorothy! (not literally you understand!). I'll now have to wait so I can talk to someone to discuss my options….

Today I had a look at the website and they do various levels of design… they do 'Ready to wear,' which you just go in and buy, 'handmade ready to wear' where you choose the style, colour and fabric etc from a limited selection and they make it up in your size, or the crème da la crème bespoke service where you have a cobbler measure and take the characteristics of your feet and craft a pair of beauties exactly to your requirements…. Unless god sends the lottery numbers to me tomorrow I know I cannot have the bespoke ones but maybe I could have something in between? These gods are specialist in vintage dancing shoes so they may even have some suitable in the 'Ready to wear,' range so we will see… I have got another day off work in a couple of weeks so I shall go to meet the gods then…. I am so excited….what a dream at the possibility of having Dorothy's shoe makers craft my wedding shoes….. Mmmmmmm…...

After meeting with the new photographer the other Monday I was convinced that she was the right one… I felt a lot calmer when I made the decision and she seemed a lot more passionate about what she was doing. I was expecting her to quite stuck up for some reason as the appointment with her was at the landmark hotel in Marylebone (where George bush stays) but she was so down to earth and very approachable. She was from Wales and she seemed to have more understanding of what I wanted and not just paying lip service like the other photographer. I saw work of other ethnic wedding and she totally understood my concerns with shooting dark skin. She was also a fashion and music photographer so she was used to shooting black skin. She reassured me that the photos were also printed in Wales so the quality and cost of any reprints would be much better than if them done in London. The package was very different as I would only be getting her time and photos with the posh album fluff but the quality and energy in the photos was much more important as they would be our only memory of the day.

I spoke to the original photographer I had booked but she would not budge over the deposit as I expected. I was a little annoyed as she was not prepared to negotiate at all. She says that she had turned down 3 other wedding for that date but there is still loads of time and I am sure she will get booked even if she is shite for the style we wanted! The photos were far too hit and miss for me and the photos of the black couple on her website were very amateurish… If I want amateur I would stick disposable cameras for tenner on the tables and get the guests to take them. At least I will know what I'm getting before shelling out lots of money!

Last Friday, despite the inconvenience and rising costs of my beloved mini I decided I would by some beers for the mini man at the garage who has always been very helpful and reliable about the work being carried out. I went to pick up my car and before saying anything he proceeded to tell me that he had felt sorry for the amount of bad luck I had had since buying the car (bash in side while parked, x3 breakdowns and £500 repair costs!) and as a result has had a go on the dented door to make it look better, free of charge! I could not believe it! This has restored my faith in mankind and there are still some nice people in the world! I was soooo glad I went with my instinct and bought the beers which he was well chuffed with!! He also got me a mini manual and although he could not fix the stereo (Seller gave me the wrong code and no manual!!! She turned out to be really helpful didn’t she!! NOT!) he said he would be able to get me a new stereo for next to nothing from a Rover dealer that was closing down. I was very, very disappointed with the way the seller communicated throughout the whole buying process and she has been no help at all when I have asked about little bits since I’ve have the car. I only wanted to buy the car from her because I thought she was reliable and helpful but sadly this has not been the case. After my last communication and no response AGAIN! I decided to let things go and deal with things myself and I am glad that the mini man has been an absolute angel, even before he sorted the dent. Sometimes people clearly have their own selfish agenda’s which will trample in other people but I haven’t got time for other people’s bulls*t and I’m glad I met a sympathetic team at the garage who now have a life long customer!

After such a neurotic day yesterday, I slept on things and had another look at her site this morning and it is still as shite as I remember it so I will be using someone else. I may loose my deposit but I am will to risk that before I hand over alot more money and end up with more rubbish photos. Will have to think about what I am going to tell her so I can at least attempt to get the money back...

I have found another one that I am interested in and my old friend Miranda had a diplomatic look at both site and gave her verdict. It was so lovely of her as she has two small boys that keep her buusy and she took time to look at the site and give me her opinion! I think over many years I had shut out alot of my female friends and have only recently started opening up again and it is so lovely to have that girky support. Randa is coming to see me next week with the boys and i cant wait1. Any way... Randa agreed that the photographer I had booked was not really up to standard and the other photographer I am meeting on Monday was much more refined. My instincts are never wrong and I have to accept that I cocked up basically i have to put it right for me and my babes!.....

I have had a niggling feeling about the whole photography issue because while I was modelling a few years back, I was always conscious that a lot of photographers were not used to shooting black skin and had made no accommodation for this with the lighting or make up etc. As a result I ended up with a lot of pasty looking shots that were just eyes and teeth! Any black people reading will know what that feel like especially if they have been in the papers! After booking a photographer at the wedding show I was ok (not ecstatic) with the choice I made as I felt that it was too late to find someone I really liked for the price we could afford and was worried I would end up with someone really expensive (3kplus ) who was shite. Believe me there are loads out there charging more for crap pics! The niggling feeling kept plaguing me today so I had another look at the photographer’s site and was devastated! My instincts and anxieties have once again proved right. She had shot a black couple in September and the shots were all the negative things mentioned above and worse! The composition and lighting was awful and in some of them there was no detailing in the faces as they were quite dark skinned and their was a poor choice of the composition choice for natural light! I am absolutely gutted as I have already paid a deposit which is probably non-refundable. I can’t turn round and tell the women the truth so I am stuck as to what to do… Even if I have a diplomatic conversation with her about it, it’s bound to ruin the rapport and I will be less relaxed on the day! HEEEELLLPPPPPP!!!!