Sista..... Stand Up!

What better way to convey the energy you want at your event by having fabulous music. Many of you will think me mad but this is something I have been nerding over for the last 2 years and its coming together fabulously! I knew that I would not be having a rendition of the birdie song or grease lightning and the age range was going to naturally be a broad range so it was important that this is reflected in the tunes across the day. As always, you should know by now through this diary that I'm not a girl of tradition so I will not be walking down the isle to 'here comes the flippin bride.' This diary is lovely but frustrating at the same time cause i really want to spill my guts about everything I’m doing but at the same time i want you all to have some surprises... therefore, I can't tell you what I will be having instead! It's hard to keep a balance. I also don't want to hype things to much because I want you to enjoy it for its personal simplicity. ok...I'll give you a little but not too much. As there is a vintage feel about the day there will be a few tunes from some of my favourite old films as well as some surprises that some of you didn't know I liked. Rene has opened my eyes to his fab collection a delicious jazz greats so there will be a lot of that during the cocktail hour. There will also be a bit of Ska because I used to love watching mum and dad reminisce about how they used to dance in the 60's. Rene and I both love Toots and the Mytals so that is a must! Finally, the evening session will be provided by my darling friend Lorna, certified eccentric sista and good friend of many years!!

Atmosphere is everything and it is very important to me that there are lots of personal touches about the day which reflect the things René and I love. I have been a bit of a control freak about the planning but at every turn I have always thought about how it fits with Rene and I, and how our guests will see things. Some of you may find some of the choices strange as I we have never been very conventional but I hope you will see and enjoy our free spirited reflections from the invitations down to the cake icing. I am a firm believer that the day should be dictated by what we love, find beautiful and whatever makes up laugh. With this in mind, I made a mental list of what both of us love. Film, music, colour, words and textures. It was much easier to choose things to make the day memorable.

I had won £50 of vouchers at a wedding show to have some alterations done on my dress. And today would be the first time I have seen it on properly. The alteration place was hidden away behind in Battersea behind the station.. On entering the building I was blown away by the historic beauty of the interior. The reception was painted brilliant white with 3 large deep red chaises’ there were also some beautiful Victorian hourglass clothes horses’. I was lead into one of the changing rooms which had gigantic white taffeta curtains with huge red roses. Very sumptuous and romantic, I was really beginning to feel like a bride. Inside was the biggest floor to ceiling mirror you have ever seen which had a frame of several layers of thick engraved glass around the edge. It was truly wonderful. I slid the dress over my thighs and layer by layer, she measured the desired length and pinned it right across the front so I had an idea of how it would look. She also pinched in the waist a little to ensure the top fit like a glove. Part of the fitting process is also to make sure you have some shoes to ensure that the dress is set at the right length. After my previous disastrous shoe hunt I just brought the vintage ones that I bought before and to my great delight they looked gorgeous with the dress. The fitter said I would be foolish to consider looking for anything else! They were in fabulous condition considering they were an original 50’s pair! Initially I did not think it would work as the dress was new etc but it does…. It is just working out that all my accessories are vintage and they do go with the new dress… I am glad as I have just saved myself a few hundred quid!! I have now made an appointment to have my evening dress altered here too to save the bother and I will be back in one month to try both the finished altered dresses!! Can’t wait!!

This shoe situation is really getting me down now as I have been everywhere and am still no further forward. I thought that once the dress was here it would be easier for me to find some shoes so on Easter Monday, I arranged to meet Gabriel ( Style queen to the stars and me since he was 16 and booking my modeling jobs) I thought there was no chance of failing as he had all the inside knowledge of the hot boutiques and has the all important discount to make sure I could have whatever shoes I wanted without having to worries about the price tag. Louboutin, Chanel, Manolo, Prada, Choo, Harrods, Harvey Nicks, Bond St, we did them all and after 5 hours came home with nothing!! Can you believe it!! The only pair that were remotely any good where some Gina peep toes covered in crystals which were nice. However, I have always hated the Gina brand as it has always reminded me of rich chavy Essex girls with plastic hair and nails so out of principle I could not buy them!!! They were also over priced even with Gabriel’s fabulous discount!! I know it sound really bad but that’s it! No Gina!! This shoe crisis may call for trip to Paris!! It would only cost my £70 on the Euro star and Gabriel had contacts there to with nice discount so I could go to the Louboutin store and get some amazing beauties if I get desperate… I have decided to leave the shoes again for a while and focus on some thing else. It normally happens that as soon as I let go of my attachment to getting something it appears in front of me so this is what I intend to do.

The last few days I have been in bed with a cold but on Easter Sunday I felt a little better and decide to tackle the invitations. The week before I had started to print some ideas and was having some major problems with my printer. I called Dell and they agreed to call me back over the Easter period when I had more time so they could go through everything with me.

I have hummed and ahhed over the invitations so many times and scoured eBay on several occasions changing my mind about the ribbon and design. I was gob smacked at how expensive it was to have them made and I was not that impressed by what was out there, boring, plain cards with silly pictures of bride and grooms or feathers and dried roses stuck on the front. Not very inspiring considering they charged the earth! I wanted something retro / contemporary but with a personal touch so I did a cheeky thing!! The Wren Press are in my opinion the best company for making chic classic invitations and I found an offer in Brides Magazine offering free invitations packs from them. I ordered one and used the details to make my own cheaper versions tee hee. When the Wren Press pack came I was totally blown away. Amazing thick ivory card with gold edging, written in a classic calligraphy font. Very simple, but amazing quality and panache, just what I wanted. The prices were through the roof!! I would easily be looking at well over £1000 for invitations but they were well worth it and I would pay it if I had the lottery numbers!! I had a good study of the wording, font, lay out etc and got to work. After a lot of card swatches, swapping ribbons & changing designs, I spent a bit on some gorgeous card and remembered some lovely ribbon I had bought during my trip to Florida last year and buried in the bottom of my wedding box, , this was just right. … genius!! Dell called me and everything with the printer was sorted. I panicked for about an hour as for a moment I thought that the card I had bought was too thick to go through the printer and would have to fork out more money to get them printed at a professional printers. Dell were totally blagging me as they did not seem to know what the maximum thickness of card can be used in the model I had. I eventually sorted that myself and was up until 1.30 on Easter Monday morning printing and tying ribbon!! They look so cute and I have definitely given The Wren Press a run for their money at a fraction of the cost!!!! This weekend I will post the overseas invites and the UK ones will be sent in June.

‘God’ has had me in a head lock for the last 10 days to make sure I got some rest. After all the running around and late nights deciding on invitation card and hotel décor I was struck down with a cold which totally knocked me out and off work!! It was nice to get some rest but I have been feeling quite weak and had to stay in bed for 3 days straight before I started to see the light.. My sister had been having a well deserve rest with Mum in Florida and she has now returned with my wedding dress and head dress. I had mixed feelings about my dress as part of me had distanced myself from it as it has been so long since I had seen it. Also part of me was a little worried that I would not like it now it was in my environment and didn’t have my mind clouded by my mums angelic face beaming at me in the shop praying I would choose this it so she didn’t have to worry I would walk down the isle in some freak outfit! In my sisters living room, there was a compact holdall in the corner and I could’nt believe Mum had squeezed in a wedding dress. And 2 full crinoline petticoats, 3 head dresses and a book on retro cocktails ( more USA bought eBay stuff delivered to mums) It was a miracle the everything squeezed in! I knew I wouldn’t get everything back in the holdall again if I took it out, but did it anyway cause I wanted to see if my instincts about the dress were the same as when I stood shut eye in the shop 1 year ago. It was much nicer than I remember and the detail was really elegant. Inside the bodice, just as mum and I had discussed, she stitched a piece of her own wedding dress inside for good luck. We had discussed her stitching it in the lining but I was quite emotional because she had stitched it right in the middle inside my bodice so it would be in right over my heart… mmm. I knew that once all the amendments and alterations were complete, I would really really fall in love with it….

The headdresses?.... Oh my god, I am so pleased with it… it is perfect for what I wanted. I won’t say to much but it’s an original 1950’s piece and totally me…. I also love the fact that it needs a little tlc …. If someone had asked my a few years ago what I would like to get married in, I probably would have wanted some contemporary Westwood number, guaranteed to steal the day and any catwalk, but today’s choice is a complete turn around. An admiration of the craftsmanship and romance of 50’s style and glamour. The idea that my outfit is retro and not all in mint condition is somehow an acceptance that beauty is not all about being pristine and perfect, but about the feelings which arise from a space of passion for the things you love. I love the femininity and nostalgic romance of things gone before and I wanted to bring some of this magic into the day. I just hope that others will see and appreciate this too…….

Throughout my life’s demanding periods, I believe there has always been some one watching over me. You know, that little voice that whispers to you when you need a little guidance. This entity feels like a big soft female light/heat, beaming brightly down into my soul in moments of stress when I need her. I’ve always relied on her and she’s never let me down. When I meditate, I can go inwards and recharge on this light as well as get inspiration and guidance on life’s challenges. For those of you that don’t know me that well will probably think I’ve lost my marbles but I haven’t. I’m just having a moment away from the demands I am faced with to have a little talk with ‘god’ or whatever you want to call it. In my moment with her toady, I am reminded amongst all the planning and my trying to get everything perfect that I am also a human being who needs to be nourished properly and given time to exercise and communicate with friends. The wedding is not the centre of the universe and is only for 1 day. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a 20K budget with a Vintage Dior gown etc. What really matters is that you can look at René on the day and agree to love his chicken legs as long as you’re alive! Your mum has bought a beautiful dress for you and a lot of your friends will be there to have a drink and wish you the best. Don’t get overwhelmed with the living room corner of eBay purchases that seem to be growing in the living to make the day ‘perfect.’ I must remember that there is a man behind those boxes who is more important and needs to be loved every day just like I do! When it comes down to it, the practical things mean nothing. What matters is how we feel … everything else is insignificant!

The last couple of weeks have been absolute mayhem for me. I not sure why but things at work have totally kicked off and I am suddenly faced with having to deal with a few people issues which have only added to my stress levels. I have been quite lucky since being in this job with not having to deal with stuff like that really but it would have been nice not to have to deal with this shite at a time when I already have so much going on in my personal life with the wedding. Without having to deal with any extra stress!! People management is always the hardest bit but good experience for me I suppose as difficult as it is…

West lodge hotel have not being doing well either as the last 2 times I have been there to talk about the details they have not been there!!!! I won’t go into the drama of it all, but basically they have not been communicating very well and my attempts to communicate have not made things much better… I was ready to start demanding my deposit back on Tuesday because I was so pissed off that they could not get their act together then to top it all the bridal suite I wanted was already booked and I am having to make a 3rd trip to make sure the room they have booked for us is up to standard and rebook if its not before any more of the nice ones go!! The building is really beautiful though and is well looked after… I must say that there are a few weird smells going on in places which seem quite odd, but I’m told this is due to the age of the building?? I have now booked a nice family room for Mum dad and my sisters and I have cute little box room where I can get some peace if I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown! I have also reserved a further 15 rooms for guests who want to stay at the hotel and I will be updating the website with all the ref. no’s etc so guests can book an stay there if they want to.