Sista..... Stand Up!

The dancing continued into the night and it was lovely to see al the people I loved all enjoying themselves together. After an Hour or so in by blue dress Gabriel dragged me upstairs for the final wind down outfit. He said, ‘it’s not very often that a girl gets to have these moments and it would be shame not to wear the last dress which he had handpicked.’ As you can imagine I didn’t take much persuading so I got changed into the final outfit. The top of this vintage gem was a rich, dark green velvet. A sleeveless piece where the straps were cut wide across the shoulders and nipped in under the bust to a delicate bow. From here downwards was dark green chiffon went right to the floor and quite heavily gathered so there was lots of swishing as I walked. Of course I had to have vintage 50’s accessories so the earrings were large clip on clusters of dark green stones. The shoes were HOT pink satin and there was a matching chunky hot pink and gold bangle to match. WowWeeee. I really felt like the lady of the house and this was the perfect outfit for winding down as my guests grew tired and started making their way back to their hotel rooms or the motorway. Obviously the 3rd outfit was another triumph. I was beginning to get tired now but still very much on a high as I savoured the last few moments of the day with our loved ones.
We finally went up to bed about 1.30ish where I was officially ‘christened’ Mrs June Leonie Allen-Baptiste!

After greeting everyone and few glasses of champagne I slipped upstairs with Gabriel to get changed into my first dance dress. I remembered the lovely lady who I bought it from on eBay and how sweet she was. The dress looked amazing. A strapless oyster blue original 50’s piece in soft taffeta. It had small pieces of ruffled ribbon stitched over the taffeta in layers going around the dress. The colour of the ribbon getting darker as is got towards the bottom. The middle of the dress had a ruffled silk sectioned nipped in at the waist then in flared out into a full skirt. I had an amazing petticoat to go underneath which just set the outfit off. I kept the jewellery simple with some vintage diamante clips on earrings and a lovely silver diamante bracelet. I kept the hair the same, just changed the feather piece for a plain diamante headband. The shoes were a simple black 50’s shape peep toe, with little diamante flowers. I had also bought a fabulous sparkly vintage diamante clutch bag to match. A perfect dancing outfit. Rene loved the dress and we got together on the dance floor for our first dance to ‘Night time is the right time.’ By Ray Charles. A wonderfully sexy & funny tune which made everyone smile and was perfect for us. We didn’t want the normal cheesy shite that wedding couples normally have. It felt so nice to be dancing with my new husband. His broad shoulders felt so manly and I loved his neatly trimmed beard against my cheek. I tried to shut my eyes so I could pretend that we were alone but I was just too excited and the music we chose was not the smoochy type so I grinned and hugged my way through it… After the dance we stood for more pictures in my new outfit and it was like being a red carpet celebrity. The camera’s just kept flashing for what seemed like an age and people were shouting out our names to get our attention. I was euphoric, the atmosphere felt electric and I was lovin’ every minute of it!!!

I spent quite a bit of time talking to Sam (René’s dear former work colleague). She came with her dashing family of husband and two sons. I have always loked Sam and thought she was such a funny and beautiful women but felt that she was not always aware of how pretty she was. She was so witty and we laughed about all the stuff she had read on this diary site. She said that there were also a couple of ladies at her work place who logged on regularly to read it and were interested in what was going on, (Hello ladies!!!!). I was quite surprised as I have no way of telling how many hits the site gets and because I only got email responses from a couple of my close friends, was never really sure how many people read it! Sam said how much she liked it and asked if I would continue after the wedding? I was not sure at first as I had not really thought about it but quite a few other people have told me that they read it and there are so many other things that would be happening after the wedding with house buying and babies on the horizon so I would continue and see how it goes.

Although I had an army of outfits to choose from, alot of our friends would not be attending till the evening so I stayed in my wedding dress as promised until the first dance with my husband at 8pm where I had an amazing outfit planned. We went out for drinks on the lawn again after the wedding breakfast while the main room was being turned around for the last time for the party. The evening guests would also be arriving soon so I was looking forward to that.
It was so lovely to be able to talk to friends I had not seen for some time. It was especially lovely to see Ginny and Gary again. She was now a mum of two and still looked as fresh as the day I met her at Chantry High 6th form back in the 80’s. Gary, her husband had a few grey hairs but was still the lovable, sarcastic & funny chap I remember. I am really happy that they now have a lovely home and family but I do really miss not seeing them both as much as I used to.
It was also great to see my Uncle Linval also, it has been a few years and he was the rebel uncle that always intrigued me. I remember being a child in Ipswich and remember him turning up at the house once looking very eccentric in a long red fur coat! I’d love to sit him down one day and have a good chat with him as I bet he has some stories tell!!
It was also great to see Derek and Ivan, they looked so great together and very chic in their tuxedo’s. They had had a civil partnership this year and we had not seen them since they left London. We hope to visit them in Wales later on in the year. Rene’s close friend Siobhan also looked and very glamorous in her outfit and feather hat and Sally looked stunning in her vintage inspired strapless fitted wiggle dress in a soft beige fabric with black lace overlay.
I was really excited about seeing my old work friends from Morgan as I left their 2 years ago and we still remained friends. They were an incredible stylish bunch and today was going to be no exception. I had so many people ask me who they were as they all looked amazing.
One of my most memorable moments was while I was talking to some friends near the corridor by the reception area. I turned my head and saw my team from work coming towards me. I know it sounds cheesy but they looked like a group of angels coming towards me all beaming. A couple of the girls wore saris and they all just looked beautiful. I was very, very fond of my team and I could feel the genuine affection from them as this was the first time they had seen my in my dress and this just brought on more crying and hugging. It was really a sweet moment for me. You could really see that all the guests had thought about what they wanted to wear and they all looked amazing. The day was ticking by so quickly and I was conscious to enjoy every moment…..

I bought some gifts for my friends who had contributed not only to supporting me during the wedding but also for being amazing friends over the years. I had spent a lot of money on my sisters dresses and choose them especially so they could be worn at other events. These were also there gifts for being such fabulous sisters who were always supportive especially Jennifer. René presented the other gifts but the joy was watching their faces as they clearly were not expecting anything from us. Mum got a gorgeous sterling silver butterfly brooch with pink diamonds from Butler and Wilson, the Rolls Royce of costume jewellery. Dad received a silver fob watch on a chain which I had engraved with his initials which he absolutely loved. For Gabriel, I bought Dita Von-Teases’ amazing book on burlesque and fetish fashion. Miranda got a cute pink diamond pussy cat brooch also from Butler and Wilson. Lorna got a very rude dictionary which she has since told me has had a lot of fun reading with her girlfriend!! Haydon the best man got a very chic pair of cufflinks. I hadn’t realised until today how much my friends meant to me and how much I actually loved them. Yes I was blubbing again during this and Gabriel kept telling me to stop it and that I was going to mash up my dress!! That boy always knows how to make me laugh…

We had forgotten to do the blessing before the meal so my dad did this before he launched into his speech. After the initial introduction, he said he would sing a song with mum. I had forgotten I had asked them to do this and had no idea what they would sing. The first 3 bars sounded like a cat being strangled to which Dad waived his hand in the air and shouted ‘ No sir, CUT!’ to which everyone laughed!! It was an old song we used to sing at church called ‘If that isn’t love’ which we all adored. They started again in the right key and sang it beautifully. My sisters and I joined in mid flow with the harmonies we used to sing at church. The guests loved it and erupted in cheers and applause at the end. I initially thought some months ago about giving a speech but then nearer the time felt ii was not appropriate. For someone who always had so much to say I decided I would be silent today and allow my new husband and family to do the talking and I’m glad I did. What followed next was a serious of heartfelt speeches mixed with laughter and tears which spread to everyone around the room. René talked about my initial reluctance to get to know him when he initially came to my desk and he saw in my face expression, ‘say what you need to say quickly and push off’ but then he talked about how happy he was and how it feels like being in some one else’s dream.’ I of course was blubbering. My family’s relationship with my Aunt Claudia and her family had been very distant for some years and although the words she used talked of her happiness for René and I, she was very emotional and her heart seemed to speak of wanting to be closer to us and we all understood her silent language. Our tears were a longing for the closeness we all once had. It was the first time that I felt her pure, genuine love. This exchange was to change our family’s relationship forever.

The tables were dressed simply and elegantly. I decided I wanted to have famous names of music and Film people we loved to name the tables. I decided on Josephine Baker (top table) Ella Fitzgerald, Hattie McDaniel (mammie in Gone with the wind), Dorothy Dandridge (Carmen Jones) Dominique Deveroux (First Black women bitch in Dynasty in the 80’s) and Nina Simone. Each table name was placed inside the centre of a ball of white roses and lilies.
I completly changed all the Vogue name cards as I looked at the old ones and decided I had gone off them so 2 weeks ago I redesigned them and remade the whole lot!! They were now like a mini greeting cards with a crease down the back. The cover had a separate vintage Vogue cover hand picked for each guest with their name at the bottom. The back had my shoe motif and the wedding date. I then filled a small cellophane bag with the sweet shoe favours and stapled them inside. The card would then be placed at the appropriate seating place. This was much more simple, stylish and fabulous than the other ones. The cake is perched on the silver cake stand. I had bought a lovely white vintage one but the cake is starting to give way and starts looking more like the tower of pizza so we decided not to move it again. Gabriel patches it up as best he can and we decide to cut the cake early before it crashes!! I nip upstairs to cover my modestly (see ‘the bride and grooms secret’ for details. Gabriel oversees the hotel team as they complete the finishing touches before we sit down to the following menu.

Tian of Mediterranean vegetables with basil pesto dressing
Supreme of chicken filled with wild mushroom mousse, tarragon jus
Passion fruit delice with blackcurrant sauce
Exclusive filter coffee or Twinnings tea with Elisabeth Shaw mints

I could hardly eat anything I was so excited. I didn't realise how long I was taking to eat my food until I noticed that everyone on my table was finished and I could see the waiters glancing occasionally over at me to wait till I had finished before they started clearing the plates for the next course. I give up in the end; I’m just too excited to eat!!

Said Paul to Holly Golitely in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’m having my red carpet moment. I’m dressed in my dreamy gown with a gorgeous diamond wedding ring. I’ve just promised to love and cherish my best friend in the whole world and feeling utterly fabulous! Clare the photographer had been clicking all day and now it was time for the official ones. The weather had been a little showery but still quite warm and I'm told it’s lucky if it rains on your wedding day. The rain didn’t dampen my glee and we took loads of small group shots outside in between the little showers. I didn’t want stiff typical photos but asked for real candid shots to really capture the energy and feeling of the day. The gents looked amazing in their dickey bows and the ladies looked heavenly in their outfits. My sisters looked gorgeous in their lilac chiffon with their orchid head and wrist corsages. Miranda wore a beautiful lemon 50's wiggle dress with a vintage net headpiece to match. Her red lips set her off like a Hollywood movie star. An old work colleague, Jeanette looked stunning in her polka dot wrap dress. Everyone just looked gorgeous. It’s not very often that we get a real opportunity to get dressed up so I am really glad I made the decision to do black tie as the dress code. The photographer then took me behind a bush to take some pictures with my dress up, showing my bush! This would be the perfect cover for Rene's private book! I can’t believe I’m telling you all my business but what the hell! Tee heee....

I wrote these vows some months ago and I am really pleased that I changed them so they were more personal to us. I had to keep the legal bits in though….

Registrar ‘Do you promise to be a loving, loyal wife/husband? Will you share your life with him/her, help him/her through his/her troubles and accept his/her help through yours? Will you endeavour at all times to be honest, kind, understanding and respectful?
Response: I will (I whisper ‘you better!’ when René responds which makes everyone laugh!)

‘I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Bride/ Groom may not be joined in matrimony to Bride/ Groom. I call upon these persons hear present to witness that I Bride / Groom do take you Bride / Groom to be my lawful wedded husband / wife.

Presentation of the rings
René/ June, I love you for what you are
and who I am when I am with you.
I give you this ring
as a reminder that you are my love,
my light,
and dearest friend.
I take you with all that I am.
and promise to honour and hold you
in good times and bad,
I will help you raise any future children,
and treat the relationship with respect
as we grow old together.’

(After I place the ring on René’s finger, the registrar ask me to push the ring right up to the end of his finger to which I say, ‘Don’t worry, it’s on there!! Which again makes everyone laugh.)

REGISTRAR TO CONGREGATION -Now that you have heard Rene and June recite their vows, do you as friends and family promise to encourage and support them in their married lives together. – Congregation Response - We do! (Everyone erupts into applause and cheers!!)

It was only as we walked back down the isle that I really see all the familiar faces and there was not a dry eye in the house. I have never been so happy……

Registrar’s address
Marriage is a desire by two people to share themselves and their experiences with one another, and a willingness to accept each other for who they are. Marriage means making a commitment to developing co-operation, friendship and mutual respect. It calls for honesty, patience, trust an of course humour. In a marriage each partner cares for the other and supports them in all they do. It demands courage, the courage to be open, the courage to grow and change, and the courage to sort out together the tasks of everyday living. Marriage requires closeness and distance, closeness of the couple growing together, but enough distance to allow each partner to be an individual. A good partner in such a marriage should be loving, caring and above all a very best friend.

Miranda’s reading for June & Rene
As I look around this room,
On this special day,
A crowd of people near and dear
To our June & René

Some of you have travelled miles,
Crossed oceans far and wide.
And other loved ones are watching us,
From the ‘other side.’

We’re gathered here, each one of us,
To witness and take part,
As June and Rene speak their vows,
And declare what in their heart.

June’s hard work and creativity
Have proven to be worthwhile,
This vintage wedding really is
An occasion full of style.

It comes as no surprise to me,
June’s always had such flair,
Today she looks just fabulous
The dress, the shoes, the hair!

I’m so glad June has met René
He really is a find,
Considerate, calm, attentive
Gentle, strong and kind.

I’ve known June nearly 20 years,
And when I met René I knew
They’d make a winning couple,
The love they share is true.

Now, as you start your journey,
Together as husband and wife,
May all your dreams come true,
Throughout your married life.
(Cue more balling and hugging of best friends June and Miranda!!)

Dwight’s words for June & René(René’s Nephew)
He strolled through the office as if it was a walk along the beach and a day at play.
He understood.
Many words can be used to express her first thoughts of him and what she would say. Though I can express them its better put this way.
Chuuups...... (Congregation cracked up!!)
Neither understood.
He had the depth of character, self awareness, self acceptance and a hope for others to find the same
She understood.
A book of poetry given as a gift that was meant to touch her heart forever.
She understood.
She wanted him to be her friend first before they became lovers,
He understood.
August 12 2006?
We understood.

Going back to the isle, my sisters were now walking ahead of me and as I enter the room I see lots of people but can’t quite make out any faces at first. The first person I recognise is Sally our close friend who René initially met 12 years ago and she's crying in the second row. We laugh as I say ‘please don’t start me off!’ but it was too late, I was smiling as the joy seeped from my eys. Rene looks amazing in his outfit. He has a beautifully tailored, long black suit. What sets the whole thing off is the soft ivory and gold pin striped cravat and matching waistcoat. There is also a gorgeous black crystal cravat pin circled with diamonds (has matching cufflinks) which just makes him looks so regal. I kiss him as soon as I reach him at the front and the registrar laughs and reminds me that the kiss comes at the end of the ceremony! As she gives her address, I cant help looking behind me so I can see all my family and friends and everyone just looks lovely. Here are the highlights of the ceremony, I grin and weep with joy throughout the whole thing......

In preparation for the ceremony, my niece and nephew Almaz and Maxi did a fantastic job handing out all the wedding packs to our guests. I used the same square card and layout for the invitations so the cover was the chocolate shimmery card. It had ‘Today, I will marry my sugar dumplin’ followed by the date. Ivory card followed with all the details and it was bound together with the same slim tiffany blue ribbon in the top left hand corner. The first page of the pack had a thank you for coming note with a gorgeous picture of my Mum and Dad, 1 year after they got married in 1964. My mum was also pregnant with her first child and her outfit was the inspiration for my wedding outfit, she was and still is a very stylish beautiful lady at 67! The pack also had an. order of service, and their personal table setting along with the menu. It was very important to me that the day was also about acknowledging the special people in my life so I also included some separate little personal thank you’s. Plain white cards with little shoe motifs on the left hand side slipped inside the envelopes. I had also made some silk white orchid wrist corsages with diamante centres and white ribbon for my sisters and close girlfriends/family, there was also some without the ribbon for button holes for my mum, nephew and best man.

I am told the René arrived early and took the time to introduce and greet all the guests before taking his seat to wait for his bride…..

The phone rings at 12 noon and its the hotel ops manger telling me that they have just taken René up to see the registrar to check all the personal details so I will be called in about another 10 mins. I’m getting really nervous now and I'm pacing up and down in the room to keep my nerves. The door goes and its the ops manger come for me to me the registrar. I have all my details checked before a last minute sssuzzz up from Gabriel. I take my dad arm at the foot of the stairs. I can hear my arrival music, Etta James ‘At Last’ in the distance, the time has come…..

The week before the big day.,, René dared me not to wear any knickers under my wedding dress during the ceremony!!! We wanted to keep our humour and lightness to the day and doing this would be very funny for both of us. I first thought I would have to make an excuse to my mum to go to the bathroom. I would not put my dress on till the last minute but 15 mins before I was due to go downstairs, I ceased an opportunity to whip my dress on without the panties while mum was in the other room. My sisters were all cracking up as I demanded they help me. The photographer was in on the joke and was snapping away while this happened so there should be some class photos of us looking really mischievous doing this. Mum knocked just as the last hook and eye was being fastened at the top of the dress! Phew!!!

This is the first time I will see the whole outfit with make up and everything and it is exactly as I imagined it to be and more.
The headdress
The headdress was a copy of an original vintage piece from the 50's. A headband made with pure white feathers. It sat straight across my head with and extra length on the left side which went around my cheek. There was originally a shawl for the dress which I hated so the milliner took the crystals off this and added them to the side of the headband. I wore my hair away from my face with it kicked out at the back so there was a nice profile of my face along with the feather piece. I really feel beautiful and very special. It was so delicate and I loved it because it was so different without being over the top bridey.
The earrings
The earrings were 18 carat white gold and diamonds. The top had a small heart and then there was a drop where the diamonds were with an elegant pearl at the bottom. I spent a lot more money on these than I wanted but they did the job beautifully and I also thought they were something I cold pass down to my daughter on her wedding day.
My scent
I wanted to choose something very elegant but naughty so it did not take me long to decided I wanted to wear the Agent provocateur scent. For those of you who are not aware of this brand or there fabulous underwear, make sure you look at there website and have their number in both you and you partners speed dial. don’t tell him what it is for, just let him know that if there are any special occasions or anything he needs to say sorry for, he should call them and hand over his credit card for a large delivery of their best pieces.
The dress
This creation was made in bright white fabric. The bare shoulders set the dress off beautifully. The bodice was encrusted with white crystals around the bust area and then there was a white sash through the middle which nipped into my waist. Don’t forget that I also had a little piece of my mums wedding dress stitched inside against my heart for love and luck. The skirt was just yards and yards of soft dreamy white tulle. It was initially full length but I had it cut so it would be an Audrey Hepburn 50's shin length. Perfect for showing off my shoes.
The shoes
I initially was hunting for a fabulous pair of ridiculously priced Louboutin’s but it just so happened that this vintage pair captured my heart and were perfect. They are an original 50's pair in silver satin. They originally had some diamante bows on the them that were little damaged so I bought some new ribbon and diamante buckles and replaced them so they were good as new. Very simple, extremely elegant and in keeping within the vintage style.
The bouquet?
I have never really liked big bouquets and like everything else in the wedding, I wanted it to be simple, and stylish. Gabriel's friend was responsible for the flowers and I asked that he make a simple wrist corsage. It was the most gorgeous piece made with 2 giant orchids and a little trailing of white ribbon.
that’s me set to go!

The photographer arrived at about 9.30. A sweet bohemian girl from Wales who I found last minute. She is great at taking more candid shots and was very excited on how she would report on the days events. She had a look around the grounds for great locations before coming to the room to get some photos of me and the wedding party getting ready. The first one’s were of me doing my sisters hair and as I was blow drying my hair I asked if she could take some pictures in my underwear as a private present for René. She then began to talk about how she used to work for vogue and the she did Cindy Crawford’s shoot for Playboy!! Well impressed! I said that I wished she had told me before as I had always wanted to have some nudes done. She said she was happy to oblige and within 2 mins I was stark bollock naked, sprawled over the bed! Don't panic, I was not about about to show her 'what I had for breakfast' just some tasteful shots in my birtday suit. My hair was not done and I had no make up but she suggested that men tend to like this better as it is how he would see me naturally when I came to bed. My skin was also in great condition so I had nothing to worry about. Had to keep the door shut though as not sure what my mum would have thought. Felt very naughty but knew they would be great!!! Tee hee…

I did not sleep that well because of all the excitement and eventually woke at 4.40.. I was really worried that I would not be able to get back to sleep and I would be walking up the isle with sacks under my eyes. This was my last few hours as a single women and mums little brown girl so I took the last opportunity to snuggle into mums back like spoons and I managed to fall straight asleep for couple more hours.

I still feel really calm when I wake up and decide to do 20 mins yoga and have my last talk with ‘god’ before getting hitched. I don't ask for a perfect day but for there to be a lot of genuine happiness, love and laughter. I do lots of deep breathing and focus on sending lots of love energy into today. Amen!

It was lovely to see everyone at breakfast and I get the chance to see all the flowers for the first time. They were stunning. Reams of white roses, hydrangeas and lilies shaped in balls with lots of green in square glass vases for the dinner tables. The ceremony arrangement was armfuls of the same flowers in a giant round vase on a mirrored plinth. The bar arrangement was set in a large glass vase shaped with 3 balls as it got to the top of the vase then the arrangement at the top also in a floral ball. Stunning, the smell was simply divine!!
I take call from Rene’s sister wishing all the best before heading upstairs to get dressed.

I had taken some extra time in the week to pick up the veil from the milliner in Oxford street but was still not convinced that it would right for the outfit. Still, it was all about choices and it was part of the package I paid for so I still collected it and took it into Gabriel's room tonight for his opinion. It was gorgeous soft fine white netting which had thousands of crystals attached by hand. It was meant to be worn underneath the headdress then removed after the ceremony. I held it up to my face and the crystals sparkled beautifully in the light. Gabriel said it looked amazing but we both thought it was just to edgy /runway for my vintage look. Also, I wanted people to be able to see my face and if there were any tears during the ceremony I didn’t want to be fighting with the veil to get underneath to mop up my face. I loved the shape of my profile without it and this addition would have ruined it. It was decided then that the veil was a no no.

I eventually get to the hotel at around 9pm and promise myself that I would get to bed early to make sure I would be glowing and looking well rested. I had arranged things that only my mum and sisters would stay at the hotel the night before. Rene and my dada would stay at the flat. The rooms were great, two large rooms with an adjoining door so we can walk right through. There was lots of space to get ready and there was also a large area with a sofa etc if we had guests.

It was time for Marcia to try the bigger size bridesmaid dress I got for her for the first time. After the previous drama of the bridesmaid dress fittings I managed to get the bigger size and was hoping that this would fit ok. The dresses were a beautiful soft lilac grey, strapless and in silk chiffon. There were pleats all the way round and a soft satin sash which tied into a bow at the side to set it off. I had also bought her some gorgeous strappy sandals with black crystals. She slipped them on along with the dress and was very pleased with the results. Hallelujah, it all fits and she looks fabulous.

Unfortunately, it was the first night in three years that Mum and my sisters had been together on our own and an early night was just not going to happen. Gabriel and Miranda were also at the hotel and we all ended in my room along with my Aunt Claudia and brothers for some Caribbean food that she had smuggled in. everyone was lined up like a soup kitchen waiting to dig into mum’s large deep bag packed with fried fish, hard doe bread and rum cake. I was really beginning to get excited now and there was too much food, people and laughing around to even consider going to bed. What was supposed to be a restful night turned into an evening of raucous laughter and wedding advice until I demanded that they sod off and let me go to bed at 1am.

I was determined to get everything done yesterday so I could have this day to myself to relax and prepare myself mentally for the big day tomorrow. I still was not feeling nervous. I am so looking forward to today. I eat a hearty breakfast and take myself off to the beauty parlor for a wax, pluck, buff and massage. 4 hours later I return home and was pleased that the book had arrived but I find René entertaining his nephew from Canada. All well and good but not really a good idea to expect me to assist with playing host the night before the weeding when I have to pack and remember everything I need to bring to the hotel. Friggin men!!!! The 4 hours of relaxing went straight out of the window as I battled not to beat Rene when he starts asking for lots of random things while I am tying to pack all the order of service place cards, gifts etc etc etc. The stress levels start to rise again when I realize that Ceremony CD’s I prepared weeks earlier were not working. I was also getting really frustrated as I had so many calls from people asking me about random stuff. Also, when people were being sensible and calling René to ask questions when they thought I might be busy he would just tell them to call me AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!

Friday morning after a nice lie in, I realised that Gabriel’s gift had still not turned up from Amazon! I had originally bought him the Manolo Blahnik book of shoe sketches but was a little disappointed that it was not hard back and still not convinced in my heart that it was the right gift for him. He has worked so hard with the wedding and I wanted him to really like what I bought for him. I decided instead to get him the amazing coffee table fetish book by Dita Von Tease. She’s today’s Betty Page who is now married to Marilyn Manson. An exquisite 50's pin up inspired burlesque dancer. This book was also in keeping with where we went for our hen night and also the vintage feel of the day. I had received no attempted delivery cards from the post office and when I checked on the Amazon website they said Parcel force had attempted delivery twice!! I called them to find out what was going on and they said that there was no way it could be delivered today and that my only option was to pick up the parcel from the Acton depot! Where the f*ck was I going to get time to go to Acton to pick this up the day before the wedding!!!. Gabriel is one of the key people in the wedding party who has contributed so much and there was no way I was going to tell him after I had handed out gifts to everyone else, 'oh sorry Gabe, thanks for helping me but the post is terrible so you will have to wait till next week!' time for bride bitch!!! I demanded to speak to a manager; the agent was polite but kept saying that I would only get the same response. I said fine but I still want to speak to him/her. On transferring the call, I was very polite but made it clear to the manager that I was getting married tomorrow and I didn't care what time it was delivered today but it HAS to be today as it was for gift. He was very sympathetic and said he would get back to me. I left mine and Rene's number ( I was off to the beauty place) and asked Rene to keep ringing their arse on the hour to make sure that package was there for when I got back.

The joyous occasion started from Thursday night with a slap up Caribbean feats at my sister Jennifer’s. Catering size pots filled with rice n peas, chicken, snapper fish, pork. All the delicious Caribbean dishes that any true Jamaican would not be without. The tiredness was really starting to hit me as my body begins to wind down and I really just wanted to sleep. I was grateful not to have to cook though, and to have some of mum’s real Jamaican cookin’ was an added bonus. My Aunt Claudia came over and my Uncle Dennis was also there after taking me 160 miles to get the cake. It was really nice to see my aunt again but I also felt a little sad as so many years had passed since she had seen any of us and she only lives in Brixton. We had all got older so I was hoping that the wedding would be an opportunity to bridge some gaps and we would all make a conscious effort to keep in touch this time going forward. We ate talked, caught up and I did my best for a couple of hours then had to get home to bed. Uncle Dennis would drop the cake off at my house before he travelled back to Farnborough. I was jut too tired to celebrate anything yet… Knackered....

Cant sleep.... up to finish work on the final rearranged place settings and wedding packs. Check. Got on the tube and picked up the final piece of my headdress. Check. Ranted in the Apple shop and finally got my ipod replaced. Check. After some drama at Finsby Park with the buses because of he terrorist raids (not going let these fools stop me from living my life)I finally get to my sisters to meet my Uncle D so I we can go and get the cake. Still not telling, have to wait but it is lovely. It was nice to finally meet the lady who made the cake as we really got on during the whole design process. I am feeling a little sad as I have spent so many months with these people who work with you to create something so personal for you and then it just ends. I first felt is saying god bye to the headdress lady and then today with the cake lady. Everyone keeps asking what I’m going to do after the wedding as I have been so involved with everything. Don't worry folks, there is still a honeymoon to plan, a baby to make and house to buy so I will be busy enough!! Unfortunately, 160 miles round trip and 5 hours later, things were too much for the sponge masterpiece and we have one cracked but fabulicious, Sex and the City cake! I’m not upset because it will be eaten anyway!

I am hoping to day will be the last moment of madness before the big day. the last couple of nights I have not slept well so I will be cat napping where possible. After failed attempts at a final snooze I got up at six to discover that police had foiled a plot to blow up 20 US planes mid air. Airports are in kayos and there are sirens going off all over the place as several London homes are raided where the people involved had been plotting. London is going to suffer greatly again because of all these wars that never seem to make any real sense. I still don’t really understand why this is happening; all I see are families suffering unnecessarily. When will it all end!! The mood in London id very sombre again as we are all forced to face how vulnerable we really are a time like this.

When I initially found some one to do the cake , I picked her not only because I liked her work but because she lived n Essex which I thought would not be too far to drive. On looking at the map today I discover just how big Essex is and she actually live 80 miles from London! Frigg!! We are supposed to be having a family dinner tomorrow and my brother in law is also picking up my sister tomorrow morning so he would not have enough time to do this and help with all the rehearsal dinner arrangements. I am so exhausted from all the running around I have done today and the prospect of having to drive myself or getting on the train to get it was really depressing me!! I was on the way to meet the florist with some cash so I would deal with that later. Once finished I received a call from Jennifer who told me that Uncle Dennis has offered to do this for me and he also has satellite navigation which would take us straight to her front door. phew!!!! Thank the lord for Uncle Dennis!!!