My boss had been off all week and I was dreading spending the time in the office with the buyer especially after he had been rubbishing me but it was not half as bad as I thought t was going to be. Funnily enough I was much calmer this week, but I think that’s because I had made up my mind to leave and would not have to deal with this place for much longer. Why was this happening to me? Why was I being challenged in this way and what was the bigger meaning behind this madness. Although I knew that the training was shit and he had been unfair in his assumption, I was still beating myself up about not picking things up immediately. As Thursday approached I slept less. Wednesday evening I tweaked the letter some more and picked out a stylish outfit for my resignation moment. It was important to me that she understood that she was not only going to loose a bright women but also a stylish one. I decided that I would tell her on her own when the buyer had gone to lunch. The morning dragged on, I said very little and went through different speeches over and over in my head as to what was appropriate. Despite being angry and upset, I still wanted to remain dignified without launching into a defensive torrent of abuse about how shit her training was and the buyer was dinosaur has been who can’t even spell spreadsheet.
I didn’t anticipate them both going off to lunch together so I sent her an email asking her for chat when she got back so he would be less aware.
My vision of it being a controlled dignified discussion went down the toilet as the pressure built up over the weeks (way before my honeymoon) sent out floods of tears. I expressed how unhappy I was in the role, and wanted to resign. I was feeling constantly overwhelmed by the responsibilities because the training had not matched the intensity of the requirements to do a good job. I explained that while I understood her intentions for telling me about the buyer complaining, I felt it was unfair based on the lack of training and the holidays they both had (leaving me on my own ) since I had been there. I was also extremely upset that in light of their absence and lack of 1 on 1 training, he still doubted my ability to the point where she was saying she had to ‘fight my corner??’ I surprised myself by being so emotional but I just couldn’t help it. I then went on to say how I had written a list of pro’s and cons list and the reasons to go was much longer. 6k pay cut, less holidays, longer hours, the driving etc etc etc. She was very upset and apologised profusely because of the training situation. If the main reason I would leave was because of the training and the Buyer situation, then she asked that I would give her a chance to rectify things. She had had really good feedback about me from other management and she could not let someone like me leave because of something she had failed to do. I was more than capable of doing the job. She was understanding about the money etc and said that would have to be my decision but promised sincerely that if the main reason was the training etc then she would intensify the training over the next few weeks to give me the tools I needed to do the job.
She finally asked that I keep the conversation between the two of us, and take the weekend to think about things. Something tells me she would have been in deep shit if I left because of training as they were currently recruiting for 10 other people in the same position! If someone with my experience is leaving she would have had to answer some very awkward questions. Especially as I was close to the Operations Director!!
This last week has been the weirdest time of my life. I'm going from feeling happy at the prospect of having a cute little baby, to feeling insecure and overwhelmed. No matter how liberal your man can be, it does ultimately fall on the women to make it happen. 
